Basketball, y'all.

The Hair Awards (2015-2016 Edition)

Image Credit: ESPN
Jan. 15, 2016
KYLE
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FOUNDING EDITOR

This season has been a good one for hair, or dare I say, Linsane. Short haircuts with shave lines[1]Also known as tramlines. Not sure what the popular lingo for this is… continue to be very popular but we have seen some truly innovative and inspiring ‘dos this season. Now let’s get on with the awards. (Note, Twitter is being used for images here - the Tweet content is not necessarily relevant.)

Most Likely To Be Mistaken for An Animal - Elfrid Payton

.@elfrid (20 pts) and the @OrlandoMagic keep the @Sixers winless, 105-97 HIGHLIGHTS: https://t.co/PLyTDBQ7jA pic.twitter.com/0lCBUDJWgO

— NBA.com (@NBAcom) November 8, 2015

Elfrid’s got some special hair. It majestically bounces around during games yet still retains its core shape and charm. Almost like Bill Murray in Kingpin but in a good way.

Runners up - Lucas Nogueira, Robin Lopez

Most Complementing - Dennis Schröder

.@DennisMike93 has his number in his hair now. pic.twitter.com/QGBJc4Iv4g

— Lang Whitaker (@langwhitaker) January 3, 2016

Bleached-blonde flourishes are nothing new for Dennis, but bleaching his number on the back of his head? That’s pretty cool, and I imagine not easy to do—it certainly stands out more than shave lines would.

Sure, during game-time, this may be a bit redundant given the number on his jersey below[2]I considered going with Most Redundant as the award here, but decided this hair deserves more.. But… you never know when your jersey might get lost in an Uno bet or something. And it kind of makes the number more special, more realized.

Best Hair + Facial Hair Combo - Steven Adams

Thunder App exclusive! Pregame intvw w/Steven Adams. iOS: https://t.co/Aj054VBt1t Android: https://t.co/IMgJHKGQbT pic.twitter.com/zFbXPzFapy

— OKC THUNDER (@okcthunder) November 18, 2015

The Beard is always a strong candidate here, but we’re going to go with a surprise this season in Steven Adams. He’s basically what Steve Aoki would look like if he were a basketball player[3]Credit to David for this observation.. That is amusing.

Runner up - James Harden

Most Confusing - Evan Fournier (aka Never Google)

Champagne for everyone! Thru 6 games, @EvanFourmizz leads the team with 19 ppg. #Staturday pic.twitter.com/leGBCAr9iz

— Orlando Magic (@OrlandoMagic) November 7, 2015

Sometimes I love Evan’s hairdo and sometimes I just don’t get it. This one is hard to pin down, so he’s getting an award.

Most Like A Broom - Jae Crowder

Celtics Wrap: Jae Crowder, Kelly Olynyk Carry Boston To Win Vs. H... #BostonCeltics https://t.co/E1fO6KuP7M pic.twitter.com/93YeUVZ156

— Celtics Report (@celtics_fanly) December 24, 2015

There was little competition for this award.

Best (and Brightest) Surprise - George Hill

End of the 3rd quarter: #Pacers 77, Rockets 64 @Yg_Trece: 18pts/4rebs @ianmahinmi: 11p/7r @George_Hill3: 11p/3r pic.twitter.com/EPhpHIZMrI

— Indiana Pacers (@Pacers) January 11, 2016

George Hill bleached his whole head before the season started. And… we like it! It seems a bit bold at first but it’s actually not that wild and meshes well with the Pacers colors.

Runners up - Allen Crabbe, Jared Sullinger, Jeremy Lin

Better Than Elevator Shoes Award - Iman Shumpert

"I just sort of went with instinct." - @imanshumpert on delivering his daughter. [VIDEO]: https://t.co/ZkJxfxxNjT pic.twitter.com/xNeHAKzFn9

— Cleveland Cavaliers (@cavs) December 22, 2015

If anyone could top 2014-2015 Shumpert’s hair, it is 2015-2016 Shumpert’s hair. Taller than anyone thought humanly possible, and quite stylish as well. Impressive.

Runner up - Nerlens Noel

Best Hair of the Season

Just how much hair gel is Jeremy Lin using? We did the calculations https://t.co/X7aKAwkKQD pic.twitter.com/KcpWJcxinw

— GQ Style (@GQStyle) December 22, 2015

There’s one—or in this case, you could argue several—hairdo that has stood above the rest this season. Maxing out versatility, distractibility, intimidation-factor, and that-could-only-happen-in-anime-not-real-life-points. Yes, Jeremy Lin now has hair befitting of Linsanity.

Other notable hairs that did not get mentioned: Gordon Hayward, Justise Winslow, Danilo Gallinari, Kelly Olynyk

KYLE
//
FOUNDING EDITOR